This is #5 of 8 posts on “My Eight Personal Truths About Weight Loss” from previously.
“Who looks outside, dreams. who looks inside, awakes” – Carl Jung
When I lose weight……
I’ll feel more confident
I’ll be able to buy nice clothes
I’ll feel more attractive
I’ll have more energy
I’ll be happier….
Sound familiar? These are the top reasons my clients share with me when it comes to achieving their weight loss goals. And don’t get me wrong, they are all perfectly sound reasons. Like you, I thought losing weight was the key to experiencing all those good things in life.
At the core, you believe that if you look a certain way, thinner, then you’ll automatically be happier, have more friends, be more outgoing, feel more beautiful, have a loving partner….be more accepted.
But here’s the reality, if achieving our weight loss goals actually gave us any of these things, then why do almost all folks who diet and drop weight, gain all the weight back (plus some) over and over again?
Because the truth is shedding weight will not result in long term happiness if it is done the wrong way or if it the only thing you seek to change.
If you have been a yo-yo dieter, you know all too well that a sole focus on losing weight can actually make you feel more miserable. Most diets are all about “no-pain, no gain”, deprivation, restriction and willpower. You white-knuckle your way through it and when you reach your goal weight, it all backfires because your body eventually rebels.
Moreover, if you obsess and constantly worry about weight, it can mask what’s really at the root of any unease and discontent in your life. Because if you don’t take an honest look at what causes you to overeat, drink too much, or work to exhaustion in the first place, chasing a number on the scale will never really get you where you truly need to go.
Now here’s the thing, if you do go about it the right way, weight loss can improve your health significantly and the achievement itself can spark the momentum and energy needed to address the other important areas of your life that need your attention.
And the right way means giving something for yourself that no diet, meal plan or exercise routine ever really does: self-love.
The first transformative step begins with accepting where you are and loving what is. Your parents, siblings and close friends adore you for who you are not because of your size – So remind yourself of this simple but powerful truth often and ask yourself, why should you love yourself any differently.
You also need to start letting go of those hurtful things you say to yourself – you know the insults and put downs – stuff that you would never say to your closest friend. Remember that guilt, blame and shame don’t lead to anything but more of the same.
The truth is that when you begin a weight loss process from a place of self-love and self-acceptance, you are more likely to set realistic goals and be okay with the little setbacks and disappointments that can be a derailing factor for many.
Until you accept yourself, you’ll keep searching for happiness everywhere –everywhere except where you truly need to look – and that’s within.
Let’s face it grasping for solutions outside of yourself can keep you further and further from feeling like the real you. And when you can’t feel like the real you, it’s impossible to feel real happiness.
True happiness comes from living and breathing the truth of who you are and embracing all of you at every moment.
We get it backwards a lot of the time.
Your happiness is an inside job – it’s inside YOU.